coping Archives - Haulix Daily

Today was one of those days we never want to experience. One of our team members received a call early this morning that informed them a close family member had passed away. Though they had lived a long and adventurous life the news of their passing still came as a shock coupled with great sadness. All of us felt it, and it seems safe to imagine a few of you will feel it as well. Death is never easy.

We spend a lot of time discussing about the need to stop talking about the things we want and instead learning to chase after them. We do this because we have seen the wonderful things that can happen when you take a chance in life. We’ve admittedly had things go the other way when taking a risk as well, but those moments have ultimately helped us grow as people and therefore – in our minds – aren’t really that bad after all.

There is another reason we do this, and it’s one we tend to not discuss as often. Not long ago one of our team members lost a close friend to a horrible disease. That friend was only twenty-five at the time, and most of our team had known them for years. Their passing was the first time many of us had lost someone who was essentially our age, and in the weeks that passed we grew to have a new appreciation for the frailty of existence. We knew the goals left unachieved and understood the dreams that were never going to be realized. We felt a sense of loss as we never had before, and it lingers with many of us to this day.

Before they passed, that same close friends asked us to continue on in their honor. This probably happens all the time in similar situations, but for us this was a first. We were no longer a group of individuals who enjoyed one another’s company in between solo adventures through life, we were something more. Every success was a success for the team, including those no longer with us, and every decision to ignore something was immediately met with a reminder of just how quickly our time together can pass.

This morning when the news of another passing in our extended Haulix family came I was reminded of those we lost before and how their legacy is now ours to carry. Somedays it feels like we lost those people years ago, which we did, but all too often it still feels like they were with us just yesterday. Time is a funny thing like that.

When terrible things happen, the first thing you should do is be with those you love and check on those too far away to hug. Take time to mourn and remember those who have passed. Celebrate their lives and find a way to begin accepting what has happened. This is the most important thing you can do for yourself and those around you because those feelings are not going to go away. You have to deal with these big changes. There is no other option.

When you get through that, which could take anywhere from days to months or even years (everyone is different), you must find a way to carry on. Not just for yourself, but for those who can no longer do so. You cannot afford to wait for the perfect opportunity to come your way because there is no guarantee you have that kind of time to spare. If you know what you want or what needs to be done in order for life to be how you want it then you need to act. Not the next day, not in a few weeks, but as soon as the feeling hits you. Do whatever you feel driven to do and do it to the best of your ability so that you can honor those you have lost through your actions. If not for yourself then for them because they believed in you, they loved you, and they wanted the world to see you for the great person they knew you to be.

James Shotwell is the Marketing Coordinator for Haulix. He is also the host of the Haulix podcast, Inside Music, which features insight into the experiences of entertainment professionals from all walks of life. You should probably follow him on Twitter or at the very least visit his official website.

As much as you may like to believe your career in music is infallible, or that you have a gift for songwriting no one will be able to deny, I can guarantee you there will always be days when your best efforts come up short. Failure is an unavoidable byproduct of any creative endeavor, and regardless of what level of fame you reach in this business there will always bad days. The point of continuing to create is not to work towards perfection, but to take into consideration everything that has happened, both good and bad, and apply it to whatever comes next. Art, like life, is a constant progression, and the best you can do is learn how to frame each failure as something other that is ultimately beneficial to your career.

The number of ways you can screw up in music are numerous, and they range from writing a bad single, to performing in a such way that disappoints your fans. We cannot begin to breakdown every single instance of failure and how it can be viewed as a positive, but we can offer tips to help you deal with any instance where things do not go as planned. The advice that follows may seem fairly basic to some, but if applied to your next misstep we guarantee growth will occur. It might not be easy, but it will be beneficial to your creativity in the long run, and at the end of the day that is what matters most.

Start with the truth. Accept the situation for what it is, and be prepared to face it head-on.

Everyone has heard that line about how the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry, and the reason we’ve all heard it is because it’s absolutely true. You might have written the best song you believe yourself possible of creating, but for one reason or another it might not connect with listeners. Likewise, you may give what you feel is the performance of a lifetime, only to look at Twitter after the gig and read tweet after tweet complaining about the sound. In times like this it’s incredibly easy to take a defensive stance, but to do so would be an error. Accept that not everyone will experience things the way you do and try to see things from the outsider’s perspective. Be humbled by the fact you received any response at all, as most never do, and ask yourself how you could improve or change what you’re doing in the future.

The key to this step is honesty. It’s okay to say you love something that your fans do no, but do not blame them for not feeling the same. Art is subjective, but if you listen to your audience you should be able to find a way to do what you want while still playing to their demands. You don’t have to, of course, but most great artists find a way to compromise that satisfies everyone.

Look for the positive, no matter how small it may be.

Let’s say your new album was expected to sell ten thousand copies its first week and only sold fifteen-hundred. That disappointment would be quite a sting, especially from a financial standpoint, but considering the fact less than 1% of all the albums released in any given year sell more than a thousand copies you’re still among the most popular musicians in the world. You may not have ten thousand people clamoring to purchase your new album, but fifteen-hundred consumers is certainly nothing to scoff at. There are towns and villages all over the world that have populations far below fifteen-hundred people, and even less people outside those communities know they exist. You may not be where you want to be, but you are farther along than most, and that is something you should never take for granted.

The point is, there is also an upside. Your new demo may have gone over worse than Jar Jar Binks, but at least by sharing it with fans you learned something new about what they expect from you and what they hope to hear from future material. This knowledge can and should inform future recordings which, in theory, will be received better than whatever came before.

Do not be afraid to take time away from the internet

We are convinced there are at least two negative comments for every positive one on pretty much every song, video, or think piece posted online. People are far quicker to complain than they are to compliment, especially in a public forum, which is why you should consider taking time away from the constant barrage of commentary social media provides when things take a turn for the worse. If you know the incoming messages are going to be riddled with negativity there is no reason to wallow in the hurt feelings such commentary can cause. Absorb enough to understand why people are upset, then step away and take time to reflect on how you can improve your efforts in the future. You do not need the internet to do this, and in our opinion you shouldn’t use it. Stay offline until you have something new to share, and if that doesn’t go over then feel free to take more time away. In fact, take as much time as you need. The internet will still be here when you return.

Whatever you do, keep creating

No matter how you initially react to failure you cannot let the ensuing negativity defeat you. Keep creating, always, and do not stop until you decide you are finished. There will always be someone in the world who thinks you are not good enough, but you cannot let the opinions of a select few stop you from expressing yourself through art. Creativity is a gift that is all too rare in this world, and it should be expressed at every opportunity. Don’t let the haters win.