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How To Pitch Music Editors in 2022

Successfully selling story ideas to music editors is difficult, especially in 2022, but we can help make your next pitch the best one yet.

The only thing worse than the state of streaming royalties in 2022 is the state of music journalism. Each year for the last half-decade, dozens of music blogs have shuttered as audiences shrink and the demand for content continues to boom. Most writers are creating solely to chase their passion. The amount of money earned by the average music critic is well below the poverty line, and even those who manage to find full-time work are constantly waiting for the next shoe drop.

We wish we had a solution to the way things are, but that’s not how entertainment works. You can only do so much to convince people to try a new blog, podcast, or YouTube channel. Your content either shines brighter than the stars or ends up overlooked alongside a million other well-intentioned articles that never found an audience.

But there is hope for the talented. Dozens of major publications are still operating with a budget for freelance submissions. The competition for this money is fierce, but with the right story and well-worded pitch, you can stake your claim at the cash.

To help you better understand what makes a great pitch, we are resharing a submission from bestselling author and former Noisey editor Dan Ozzi. Enjoy:

Make Sure You Have a Fully Formed Idea and Aren’t Just Talking Out of Your Ass

You don’t need to have your whole article written, but you should have a clear idea of what the topic is and what points you will cover. I get a lot of pitches along the lines of: “How about a piece about how Michael Jackson was like, the original Drake or something?” These emails tend to come in after midnight and smell like Adult Swim commercials and Doritos if you know what I’m saying. Then I will send a response saying, “Cool, can you further explain WTF you’re talking about plz?” And surprise, surprise, the explanation is usually: “Like… Because they both wore red jackets and stuff. I don’t know, it might be stupid.” Cool, I’m glad we bonded over the shared experience of wasting our time together. Never forget.

Condense Your Piece Down to One Sentence

Instead of writing out five long-winded paragraphs explaining what you want to write about, give me a summary in one sentence. Or even a proposed headline. Have you ever heard of an elevator pitch? Sure you have. It’s how you would describe a larger project to a person if you had only a brief elevator ride with them. So imagine this: You are in an elevator with me. I am quietly sobbing because I suffer from severe vertigo and crippling phobia of smelling farts in enclosed spaces. How do you make me interested? Go! Sell me this pen!

Know the Outlet You’re Pitching

If you are pitching a site that is both #cool and #hip and sometimes even #edgy, you should craft your pitch to reflect that. Know their voice and also their audience. Do they mostly cater to people under 25? Do their readers use phrases like “on fleek” and “trill?” Is their audience primarily interested in cool vape tricks on Vine? Know all of this stuff and when pitching, don’t come across like you’re trying to write for some academia blog. Conversely, if you are pitching an academia blog, you probably don’t want to use phrases like “on fleek” and “trill.”

Know the Editor You’re Pitching

If you’re introducing yourself to an editor, start with a quick, personal opening line like, “Hey Dan, I really liked your last thinkpiece about how stingrays are the most punk fish in the aquatic kingdom. Good stuff.” This does two things: One, it lets me know that you are a real person who is catering to me, a fellow real person, and that you are familiar with what genres/beats I cover. And two, it kisses my ass just a tiny bit which I need because I am a music writer and require constant stroking of my ego in order to survive.

“Pitch” Is Not a Good Subject Line

That’s it, really. You won’t even get your email opened, let alone answered, if the subject is “pitch.” Put the basic idea of the article in the subject.

Here’s a good subject line: “This Venezuelan Hardcore Band Holds the World Record for Most Consecutive Hours Spent Masturbating”

Here’s a bad subject line: “pitch for you”

Check to See if It’s Already Been Done

Here’s a good use of two seconds that will save everyone involved a bunch of time: Before you pitch an idea, go to the site you’re pitching, enter the topic in the little search box, and hit “enter.” If this topic—or a similar topic—has already been covered, take your business elsewhere.

Be Timely

Different pitches have different lifespans. A long, well-researched investigative piece has the potential to live on forever and ever in the ethers of the interwebs. But something quick and dumb about the Left Shark or escaped llamas has a shelf-life of a day, if that. Send a pitch about a day-old meme and prepare to have your email printed out and passed around the Secret Society of Editors to be mocked while you are forever branded as that freelancer who wanted to write something about the IKEA monkey.

Pitch Ideas, Not Bands

This is probably the single most important piece of advice and I guess I should have put it at the top but am too lazy to change it now. As a music editor, roughly 8,000% of the pitches I get are just interviews with bands the writer likes. “Hey Dan, I want to interview this band The Shitty Pitches. They rule.” Well for starters, tell me something interesting about The Shitty Pitches or what you plan to interview them about. Is there something special about them? Did they grow up on a remote island and not hear music until they were in their thirties? Do they play on instruments they hand-made from their parents’ checks to their liberal arts colleges? TELL ME. Otherwise I’ll just assume it’d be a generic interview that asks my least favorite questions and will pass.

Do Not Pitch to Ask if You Can Pitch

I get this one a lot and it never stops confusing me. Someone will email me and all it will say is “Hey Dan, I wanted to send you a pitch about a band. Would that be cool?” No one has time to lure a timid writer squirrel out of its hole. Pitch or get off the pot.

Do Not Send Generic Garbage Pitches for Garbage People

This is another one that seems like common sense yet happens all the time. Someone will send me something like “I want to write about the current state of punk.” This is kind of like pitching a Hollywood producer a movie about love. Narrow it down.

Do Not Rattle Off Any Old Whatever the Fuck from Your Phone

When you send me a one-line email with “sent from my iPhone” at the bottom, what that basically tells me is that a thought ran across your brain and instead of thinking it out, you just fired it off to me while waiting on line at Cinnabon.

Don’t Pitch Out of Your League

If you pitch an editor with “I want to interview Kanye West,” you damn sure better know Ye personally and had him sign a blood oath saying he’d be down for an interview. There is nothing more obnoxious than someone requesting to interview a celebrity and then asking the editor to put them in touch with that celebrity. We don’t have giant rolodexes of famous people here. (Just kidding, we totally do. But don’t assume that.)

And Lastly, Here’s a Good Sample Pitch Email

Subject: Bands and their grandmas

Hi Dan, [Hey, you used my name! Now I know you are a real person and not a Pitch-Bot 5000. Cool.]

Nice piece last week on how peanut butter is the punkest food. Thought it was pretty… nutty. Was that terrible? [Woah, you have a sense of humor and are maybe a person I could stand working with on a regular basis? Sweet.]

My name is John Q. Writer and I am a freelance writer who has written for CoolBlog dot com and OtherCoolBlog dot com. [Include a link here to your online resume or blog or something where I can get a feel for your style. DO NOT go into your life story—where you went to college, what you studied, the first time you did hand stuff under the bleachers. I do not care.]

As you probably know [assuming that I am on the pulse of culture, nice nice…], a lot of bands are taking their grandmas on tour these days [maybe include a link to something on this on the very, very small off-shot that I, a person “in the know,” am not glued into this particular important cultural trend]. I wanted to write a piece called “Get in the Van, Nanna” exploring this idea. Why do bands do this? What benefits are there to touring with your grandma? I want to talk to Band Number One, Band Number Two, and Band Number Three who have all done this and also speak with their grandmas. [Woah, all of this info is helpful and interesting and I could totally see my readers digging this and sharing it on TweetBook.]

Let me know if you’re interested. [I am.]

Many thanks,

John

[This is the blank space where you’ll notice it does not say “sent from my iPhone.”]

Sound good? Cool.

Categories
Industry News News

How To Pitch Music Editors [Video]

Successfully pitching story ideas to music outlets is hard, but our latest video will tell you the best way to approach your favorite music editors.

The only thing worse than the state of the music business in 2020 is the state of music journalism. Dozens of publications have folded this year, and many more are barely hanging on. A lack of touring and new releases has drastically cut the amount of advertising, which in turn hurts music publications and their writers. Those able to pay for pitches don’t have the budgets they once did, but that doesn’t mean that all hope is lost. People are still buying pitches, and you should continue pitching. We can help.

In the latest Music Biz 101, host James Shotwell breaks down the key things every writer needs to consider when pitching a music editor. The advice shared was originally given to us by Dan Ozzi, author and former editor of Noisey. Check it out:

Dan’s notes on the topic of pitches are as follows:

Make Sure You Have a Fully Formed Idea and Aren’t Just Talking Out of Your Ass

You don’t need to have your whole article written, but you should have a clear idea of what the topic is and what points you will cover. I get a lot of pitches along the lines of: “How about a piece about how Michael Jackson was like, the original Drake or something?” These emails tend to come in after midnight and smell like Adult Swim commercials and Doritos if you know what I’m saying. Then I will send a response saying, “Cool, can you further explain WTF you’re talking about plz?” And surprise, surprise, the explanation is usually: “Like… Because they both wore red jackets and stuff. I don’t know, it might be stupid.” Cool, I’m glad we bonded over the shared experience of wasting our time together. Never forget.

Condense Your Piece Down to One Sentence

Instead of writing out five long-winded paragraphs explaining what you want to write about, give me a summary in one sentence. Or even a proposed headline. Have you ever heard of an elevator pitch? Sure you have. It’s how you would describe a larger project to a person if you had only a brief elevator ride with them. So imagine this: You are in an elevator with me. I am quietly sobbing because I suffer from severe vertigo and crippling phobia of smelling farts in enclosed spaces. How do you make me interested? Go! Sell me this pen!

Know the Outlet You’re Pitching

If you are pitching a site that is both #cool and #hip and sometimes even #edgy, you should craft your pitch to reflect that. Know their voice and also their audience. Do they mostly cater to people under 25? Do their readers use phrases like “on fleek” and “trill?” Is their audience primarily interested in cool vape tricks on Vine? Know all of this stuff and when pitching, don’t come across like you’re trying to write for some academia blog. Conversely, if you are pitching an academia blog, you probably don’t want to use phrases like “on fleek” and “trill.”

Know the Editor You’re Pitching

If you’re introducing yourself to an editor, start with a quick, personal opening line like, “Hey Dan, I really liked your last thinkpiece about how stingrays are the most punk fish in the aquatic kingdom. Good stuff.” This does two things: One, it lets me know that you are a real person who is catering to me, a fellow real person, and that you are familiar with what genres/beats I cover. And two, it kisses my ass just a tiny bit which I need because I am a music writer and require constant stroking of my ego in order to survive.

“Pitch” Is Not a Good Subject Line

That’s it, really. You won’t even get your email opened, let alone answered, if the subject is “pitch.” Put the basic idea of the article in the subject.

Here’s a good subject line: “This Venezuelan Hardcore Band Holds the World Record for Most Consecutive Hours Spent Masturbating”

Here’s a bad subject line: “pitch for you”

Check to See if It’s Already Been Done

Here’s a good use of two seconds that will save everyone involved a bunch of time: Before you pitch an idea, go to the site you’re pitching, enter the topic in the little search box, and hit “enter.” If this topic—or a similar topic—has already been covered, take your business elsewhere.

Be Timely

Different pitches have different lifespans. A long, well-researched investigative piece has the potential to live on forever and ever in the ethers of the interwebs. But something quick and dumb about the Left Shark or escaped llamas has a shelf-life of a day, if that. Send a pitch about a day-old meme and prepare to have your email printed out and passed around the Secret Society of Editors to be mocked while you are forever branded as that freelancer who wanted to write something about the IKEA monkey.

Pitch Ideas, Not Bands

This is probably the single most important piece of advice and I guess I should have put it at the top but am too lazy to change it now. As a music editor, roughly 8,000% of the pitches I get are just interviews with bands the writer likes. “Hey Dan, I want to interview this band The Shitty Pitches. They rule.” Well for starters, tell me something interesting about The Shitty Pitches or what you plan to interview them about. Is there something special about them? Did they grow up on a remote island and not hear music until they were in their thirties? Do they play on instruments they hand-made from their parents’ checks to their liberal arts colleges? TELL ME. Otherwise I’ll just assume it’d be a generic interview that asks my least favorite questions and will pass.

Do Not Pitch to Ask if You Can Pitch

I get this one a lot and it never stops confusing me. Someone will email me and all it will say is “Hey Dan, I wanted to send you a pitch about a band. Would that be cool?” No one has time to lure a timid writer squirrel out of its hole. Pitch or get off the pot.

Do Not Send Generic Garbage Pitches for Garbage People

This is another one that seems like common sense yet happens all the time. Someone will send me something like “I want to write about the current state of punk.” This is kind of like pitching a Hollywood producer a movie about love. Narrow it down.

Do Not Rattle Off Any Old Whatever the Fuck from Your Phone

When you send me a one-line email with “sent from my iPhone” at the bottom, what that basically tells me is that a thought ran across your brain and instead of thinking it out, you just fired it off to me while waiting on line at Cinnabon.

Don’t Pitch Out of Your League

If you pitch an editor with “I want to interview Kanye West,” you damn sure better know Ye personally and had him sign a blood oath saying he’d be down for an interview. There is nothing more obnoxious than someone requesting to interview a celebrity and then asking the editor to put them in touch with that celebrity. We don’t have giant rolodexes of famous people here. (Just kidding, we totally do. But don’t assume that.)

And Lastly, Here’s a Good Sample Pitch Email

Subject: Bands and their grandmas

Hi Dan, [Hey, you used my name! Now I know you are a real person and not a Pitch-Bot 5000. Cool.]

Nice piece last week on how peanut butter is the punkest food. Thought it was pretty… nutty. Was that terrible? [Woah, you have a sense of humor and are maybe a person I could stand working with on a regular basis? Sweet.]

My name is John Q. Writer and I am a freelance writer who has written for CoolBlog dot com and OtherCoolBlog dot com. [Include a link here to your online resume or blog or something where I can get a feel for your style. DO NOT go into your life story—where you went to college, what you studied, the first time you did hand stuff under the bleachers. I do not care.]

As you probably know [assuming that I am on the pulse of culture, nice nice…], a lot of bands are taking their grandmas on tour these days [maybe include a link to something on this on the very, very small off-shot that I, a person “in the know,” am not glued into this particular important cultural trend]. I wanted to write a piece called “Get in the Van, Nanna” exploring this idea. Why do bands do this? What benefits are there to touring with your grandma? I want to talk to Band Number One, Band Number Two, and Band Number Three who have all done this and also speak with their grandmas. [Woah, all of this info is helpful and interesting and I could totally see my readers digging this and sharing it on TweetBook.]

Let me know if you’re interested. [I am.]

Many thanks,

John

[This is the blank space where you’ll notice it does not say “sent from my iPhone.”]

Sound good? Cool.

Categories
News


How to cut through the noise and make music writers care about your art

As any music blogger will tell you, the quality of pitches sent from both aspiring artists and PR professionals often run the gamut from gorgeous to outright embarrassing. Some pitches are creatively designed emails with elegant text and photos, while others are one or two paragraph emails that highlight a few recording details. Some others are little more than a hello and a hastily copy/pasted link, but thankfully those are typically few and far between.

What makes one blogger click a link others might overlook is something we don’t really have time to get into because the possibilities are essentially limitless, but there are ways to hedge your bets. If you keep a few key things in mind when crafting your outreach to the press your chance of getting noticed will be as high as anyone else, leaving it to your music to do the rest.

1. Know who you are talking to

This one may sound obvious, but as a guy named James who has received emails addressed to everyone from Sean, to Beth, David, Matthew, and even Topher, I would argue it’s something too many take for granted. The importance of knowing who you are talking to in a pitch and gearing the conversation towards them cannot be overstated. If I see an email addressed to anyone other than myself I immediately send that message to my trash. It’s not for me, and if it was the person sending it didn’t both to double check the one line where they address me directly, so why give it my time?

You also need to remember that many writers are as younger, meaning they don’t necessarily prefer to be addressed as ‘Mister’ or ‘Miss.’ In fact, I haven’t encountered a single music journalist at any age that people refer to as Mr, Mrs, or Ms _________. Learn the first name of your contact and use it whenever possible. Be personable. It makes you, and your music, come across better.

2. Make sure the person you’re writing covers your style of music

In a decade of writing online I have never been associated with a site that regularly covers dance music or black metal, nor I have written about either topic at length, but every day without fail I receive a number of press releases trying to sell me on the latest talent from each genre. There are things I admittedly spin out of curiosity, but the vast majority of these release go directly to the trash bin. I have enough talent to engage and cover without wasting time on material that fall outside the coverage area of the sites who accept my work. You or your client may be talented, but I simply have no way to help you, so don’t waste your time or mine with an unnecessary pitch.

3. Read the submission guidelines

Most, not all, music blogs have some form of submissions guidelines buried on their site. Do your research before submitting your music to ensure your pitch has the best chance of being considered for coverage.

4. Always keep it simple

Everyone in music is busy. It doesn’t matter what day of the week you reach out, or what time of day your email is read, the person on the receiving end will always have a million tiny tasks awaiting their attention, including several other hopefuls such as yourself. Play into their lack of free time by finding concise and exciting ways to sell yourself. Long emails are only read in full when the recipient has a deeply vested interest in what is being conveyed. That is rarely, if ever, the case with reading new music submissions. Keep it simple and keep it fun. Tell who you are, what you create/represent, and where that art can be found. If you have something new you are trying to bring attention to, highlight that in its own short paragraph, along with any related links/embed codes.

5. Be respectful

Knowing the blogger’s name and the kind of content found on their site is one thing, but you can win over a writer much faster if you also show a true appreciation for their work. Comment on specific articles you enjoyed, or mention topics you know they have covered in the past. Bloggers, like anyone else, love to know their work is actually being enjoyed. Tell them.

6. Provide the blogger with everything the need to create a post in a single email

As noted above, time is of the essence when it comes to music blogging, so any pitch you send should provide the recipient with everything they need to cover your music. Building a relationship is important as well, but when it comes to actually getting featured on a site you can help yourself quite a bit by providing bloggers with any and everything they could need up front. This means providing everything from details behind an LP/EP (studio name, producer), to store links, tour dates, social links, and – most important off all – a proper promotional photo. Writers don’t have time to scour social networks for the most recent professional-looking image of your band. Do the work for them and they will love you all the more for your effort.

7. No one likes spam.

As you build a list of blogger contacts it will be increasingly tempting to blast every single email you find with the same promotional messaging, but believe me when I say doing so will win you no friends. Promotional messaging should only be directed to people who have covered your talent before, as well as those who have experienced any interest in covering that particular artist or release moving forward. Not every site will work for every piece of news and information you develop, so be smart about who receives what and you will have a much easier time maintaining strong relationships with those in the industry.

Categories
News

7 Things To Keep In Mind When Pitching Music Bloggers

As any music blogger will tell you, the quality of pitches sent from aspiring artists and PR professionals often run the gamut from eye-poppingly gorgeous to outright embarrassing. Some arrive as brilliantly designed emails with photos and color to spare, while others are simple one or two paragraph emails that highlight a few recording details. What makes one blogger click a link others might overlook is something we don’t really have time to get into, as the possibilities are quite limitless, but there are ways to hedge your bets. If you keep a few key things in mind when crafting your outreach to the press your chance of getting noticed will be as high as anyone else, leaving it to your music to do the rest.

1. Know who you are talking to

This one may sound obvious, but as a guy named James who has received emails addressed to everyone from Sean, to Beth, David, Matthew, and even Topher, I would argue it’s something too many take for granted. The importance of knowing who you are talking to in a pitch and gearing the conversation towards them cannot be overstated. If I see an email addressed to anyone other than myself I immediately send that message to my trash. It’s not for me, and if it was the person sending it didn’t both to double check the one line where they address me directly, so why give it my time?

You also need to remember that many writers are as younger, meaning they don’t necessarily prefer to be addressed as ‘Mister’ or ‘Miss.’ In fact, I haven’t encountered a single music journalist at any age that people refer to as Mr, Mrs, or Ms _________. Learn the first name of your contact and use it whenever possible. Be personable. It makes you, and your music, come across better.

2. Make sure the person you’re writing covers your style of music

I have never been associated with a site that regularly covers dance music or black metal, but every day without fail I receive a number of press releases trying to sell me on those genres’ latest talent. There are things I admittedly spin out of curiosity, but the vast majority of these release go directly to the trash bin. I have enough talent to engage and cover without wasting time on material that fall outside the coverage area of the sites who accept my work. You or your client may be talented, but I simply have no way to help you, so don’t waste your time or mine with an unnecessary pitch.

3. Read the submission guidelines

Most, not all, music blogs have some form of submissions guidelines buried on their site. Do your research before submitting your music to ensure your pitch has the best chance of being considered for coverage.

4. Always keep it simple

Everyone in music is busy. It doesn’t matter what day of the week you reach out, or what time of day your email is read, the person on the receiving end will always have a million tiny tasks awaiting their attention, including several other hopefuls such as yourself. Play into their lack of free time by finding concise and exciting ways to sell yourself. Long emails are only read in full when the recipient has a deeply vested interest in what is being conveyed. That is rarely, if ever, the case with reading new music submissions. Keep it simple and keep it fun. Tell who you are, what you create/represent, and where that art can be found. If you have something new you are trying to bring attention to, highlight that in its own short paragraph, along with any related links/embed codes.

5. Be respectful

Knowing the blogger’s name and the kind of content found on their site is one thing, but you can win over a writer much faster if you also show a true appreciation for their work. Comment on specific articles you enjoyed, or mention topics you know they have covered in the past. Bloggers, like anyone else, love to know their work is actually being enjoyed. Tell them.

6. Provide the blogger with everything the need to create a post

As noted above, time is of the essence when it comes to music blogging, so any pitch you send should provide the recipient with everything they need to cover your music. Building a relationship is important as well, but when it comes to actually getting featured on a site you can help yourself quite a bit by providing bloggers with any and everything they could need up front. This means providing everything from details behind an LP/EP (studio name, producer), to store links, tour dates, social links, and – most important off all – a proper promotional photo. Writers don’t have time to scour social networks for the most recent professional-looking image of your band. Do the work for them and they will love you all the more for your effort.

7. Don’t spam people

As you build a list of blogger contacts it will be increasingly tempting to blast every single email you find with the same promotional messaging, but believe me when I say doing so will win you no friends. Promotional messaging should only be directed to people who have covered your talent before, as well as those who have experienced any interest in covering that particular artist or release moving forward. Not every site will work for every piece of news and information you develop, so be smart about who receives what and you will have a much easier time maintaining strong relationships with those in the industry.


James Shotwell is the Marketing Coordinator for Haulix. He is also a professional entertainment critic, covering both film and music, as well as the co-founder of Antique Records. Feel free to tell him you love or hate the article above by connecting with him on Twitter. Bonus points if you introduce yourself by sharing your favorite Simpsons character.

Categories
News

How To Pitch A Music Editor

Written by Noisey Music Editor Dan Ozzi

I am a music editor. [holds for applause] And as a music editor, a large part of my job entails working with freelance writers. I get to publish people’s written words about music and pay them to do it. With no disrespect to cancer research scientists or pornstars, that is the coolest fucking responsibility in the world.

But it’s hard to find good writers. Once every month or so, I send a tweet out into the world, reminding writers of my email address and that I am open to pitches. I’ll usually get a couple dozen responses. Of those, maybe one is pursuable. The rest vary from lukewarm garbage to steaming hot garbage. That’s not a knock at the skill of those writers. I have no idea how good their writing is, and I’ll never know, for this reason: Their pitch was so shitty. Pitching is as essential to being a writer as the actual writing itself. You’ve got to know how to pitch just as well as you like, know how to make all them good words and stuff.

I want to accept more pitches and publish more stories, though. I want to publish so much good music writing that we are bathing in a digital ocean of perfect word choices and beautifully crafted metaphors about songs. So in my small effort to combat this bad pitching epidemic, here are a few tips that might help you not blow it with editors.

Make Sure You Have a Fully Formed Idea and Aren’t Just Talking Out of Your Ass

You don’t need to have your whole article written, but you should have a clear idea of what the topic is and what points you will cover. I get a lot of pitches along the lines of: “How about a piece about how Michael Jackson was like, the original Drake or something?” These emails tend to come in after midnight and smell like Adult Swim commercials and Doritos if you know what I’m saying. Then I will send a response saying, “Cool, can you further explain WTF you’re talking about plz?” And surprise, surprise, the explanation is usually: “Like… Because they both wore red jackets and stuff. I don’t know, it might be stupid.” Cool, I’m glad we bonded over the shared experience of wasting our time together. Never forget.

Condense Your Piece Down to One Sentence

Instead of writing out five long-winded paragraphs explaining what you want to write about, give me a summary in one sentence. Or even a proposed headline. Have you ever heard of an elevator pitch? Sure you have. It’s how you would describe a larger project to a person if you had only a brief elevator ride with them. So imagine this: You are in an elevator with me. I am quietly sobbing because I suffer from severe vertigo and crippling phobia of smelling farts in enclosed spaces. How do you make me interested? Go! Sell me this pen!

Know the Outlet You’re Pitching

If you are pitching a site that is both #cool and #hip and sometimes even #edgy, you should craft your pitch to reflect that. Know their voice and also their audience. Do they mostly cater to people under 25? Do their readers use phrases like “on fleek” and “trill?” Is their audience primarily interested in cool vape tricks on Vine? Know all of this stuff and when pitching, don’t come across like you’re trying to write for some academia blog. Conversely, if you are pitching an academia blog, you probably don’t want to use phrases like “on fleek” and “trill.”

Know the Editor You’re Pitching

If you’re introducing yourself to an editor, start with a quick, personal opening line like, “Hey Dan, I really liked your last thinkpiece about how stingrays are the most punk fish in the aquatic kingdom. Good stuff.” This does two things: One, it lets me know that you are a real person who is catering to me, a fellow real person, and that you are familiar with what genres/beats I cover. And two, it kisses my ass just a tiny bit which I need because I am a music writer and require constant stroking of my ego in order to survive.

“Pitch” Is Not a Good Subject Line

That’s it, really. You won’t even get your email opened, let alone answered, if the subject is “pitch.” Put the basic idea of the article in the subject.

Here’s a good subject line: “This Venezuelan Hardcore Band Holds the World Record for Most Consecutive Hours Spent Masturbating”

Here’s a bad subject line: “pitch for you”

Check to See if It’s Already Been Done

Here’s a good use of two seconds that will save everyone involved a bunch of time: Before you pitch an idea, go to the site you’re pitching, enter the topic in the little search box, and hit “enter.” If this topic—or a similar topic—has already been covered, take your business elsewhere.

Be Timely

Different pitches have different lifespans. A long, well-researched investigative piece has the potential to live on forever and ever in the ethers of the interwebs. But something quick and dumb about the Left Shark or escaped llamas has a shelf-life of a day, if that. Send a pitch about a day-old meme and prepare to have your email printed out and passed around the Secret Society of Editors to be mocked while you are forever branded as that freelancer who wanted to write something about the IKEA monkey.

Pitch Ideas, Not Bands

This is probably the single most important piece of advice and I guess I should have put it at the top but am too lazy to change it now. As a music editor, roughly 8,000% of the pitches I get are just interviews with bands the writer likes. “Hey Dan, I want to interview this band The Shitty Pitches. They rule.” Well for starters, tell me something interesting about The Shitty Pitches or what you plan to interview them about. Is there something special about them? Did they grow up on a remote island and not hear music until they were in their thirties? Do they play on instruments they hand-made from their parents’ checks to their liberal arts colleges? TELL ME. Otherwise I’ll just assume it’d be a generic interview that asks my least favorite questions and will pass.

Do Not Pitch to Ask if You Can Pitch

I get this one a lot and it never stops confusing me. Someone will email me and all it will say is “Hey Dan, I wanted to send you a pitch about a band. Would that be cool?” No one has time to lure a timid writer squirrel out of its hole. Pitch or get off the pot.

Do Not Send Generic Garbage Pitches for Garbage People

This is another one that seems like common sense yet happens all the time. Someone will send me something like “I want to write about the current state of punk.” This is kind of like pitching a Hollywood producer a movie about love. Narrow it down.

Do Not Rattle Off Any Old Whatever the Fuck from Your Phone

When you send me a one-line email with “sent from my iPhone” at the bottom, what that basically tells me is that a thought ran across your brain and instead of thinking it out, you just fired it off to me while waiting on line at Cinnabon.

Don’t Pitch Out of Your League

If you pitch an editor with “I want to interview Kanye West,” you damn sure better know Ye personally and had him sign a blood oath saying he’d be down for an interview. There is nothing more obnoxious than someone requesting to interview a celebrity and then asking the editor to put them in touch with that celebrity. We don’t have giant rolodexes of famous people here. (Just kidding, we totally do. But don’t assume that.)

And Lastly, Here’s a Good Sample Pitch Email

Subject: Bands and their grandmas

Hi Dan, [Hey, you used my name! Now I know you are a real person and not a Pitch-Bot 5000. Cool.]

Nice piece last week on how peanut butter is the punkest food. Thought it was pretty… nutty. Was that terrible? [Woah, you have a sense of humor and are maybe a person I could stand working with on a regular basis? Sweet.]

My name is John Q. Writer and I am a freelance writer who has written for CoolBlog dot com and OtherCoolBlog dot com. [Include a link here to your online resume or blog or something where I can get a feel for your style. DO NOT go into your life story—where you went to college, what you studied, the first time you did hand stuff under the bleachers. I do not care.]

As you probably know [assuming that I am on the pulse of culture, nice nice…], a lot of bands are taking their grandmas on tour these days [maybe include a link to something on this on the very, very small off-shot that I, a person “in the know,” am not glued into this particular important cultural trend]. I wanted to write a piece called “Get in the Van, Nanna” exploring this idea. Why do bands do this? What benefits are there to touring with your grandma? I want to talk to Band Number One, Band Number Two, and Band Number Three who have all done this and also speak with their grandmas. [Woah, all of this info is helpful and interesting and I could totally see my readers digging this and sharing it on TweetBook.]

Let me know if you’re interested. [I am.]

Many thanks,

John

[This is the blank space where you’ll notice it does not say “sent from my iPhone.”]

Sound good? Cool.

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